Workshop #7: When Q Families Break Up
Wednesday, April 21 @ 7 PM

When Q families break up, the concern always arises "what will happen to the kids?"

It is useful to address this question as part of a planning process, instead of waiting until the family is in crisis. Why? - Because at that time the question does not have the urgency and anguish that prevent loving parents from considering the key issues that will impact their children. After the breakup, will there be a primary parent or will parenting be shared? For lesbian mothers, does the birth mother have priority in decision-making, or will the couple pledge to be equally y/alid parents? For gay dads, does the father who is the sperm donor have precedence over the father who is not biologically related? Do equal but separate parenting arrangements work out when there are not equal biological claims on the child?

This workshop will also address the concerns of parents who are currently in the process of splitting up. This is a critical time for working on coping, communication and negotiation skills in a supportive environment. How do the emotions aroused in a break-up influence decisions about continuing childcare and relatedness? The workshop will explore and share the practical side of "what works" for Q families. How do we set up successful parenting plans, custody arrangements, and financial agreements? How do we deal with discriminatory family laws in addition to the usual traumas of separation and family breakup? How do we make sure that our children are considered first and that we work together in their best interests?

The workshop leaders are parents who have been through Q family breakups. In addition, one or two adult children will share experiences of their own family breakups.

Julia Schwartzberg is a training and curriculum consultant, She is Founder and former Co-Chair of the District Council 37 Lesbian and Gay Issues Committee, which was in the forefront of the fight for domestic partner benefits in New York City, She is the proud parent of a 12 year old girl who lives with her part-time in a shared custody arrangement.

Linda Gutterman, LMSW, is a social worker, a psychotherapist and the parent of a 17 year old son whom she has raised with an ex-partner. She is acutely aware of the complexities and, at times, fragile negotiations that take place between separated parents. While the laws in New York State have not addressed the plight of separated gay and lesbian parents, the concept “in the best interest of the children” should still apply. It is Linda’s belief that this can be accomplished within our own “non-traditional” families.

To make a reservation for any workshop, contact:
ihi Family Q @ 212-243-2830 or ihi-lgbt@juno.com